Virginal Purity No More!

Let me pre-face everything by saying-if you read my blog regularly you will get offended. With that being said, my name, for Blog purposes is Catty and I just lost my blogging virginity. I am a small town southern girl trying to make her way and define herself in the world. Hell, I'm trying to define myself in my own small-town. Part of me wants to travel and explore earth's every corner, the other tells me to stay at home because like Dorothy says, "...if what I am looking for isn't in my own back yard, then I never really lost it to begin with." I am chronically single and haven't had sex in over a year. I am going through what society would call a dry-spell. However, I feel there aren't any raindrops that are worthy for my bucket, if you catch my drift. I have brief 1-2 week verbal affairs and then he says something or does something and everything goes to shit. However, that is enough about me for now. Let us begin with my day...

6:45 am

The alarm that I have deleted at least 56 times on my cellphone rings to me - Your Love by the Outfield. This used to be one of my favorite songs, not anymore. I shut it off, lie my eyes down and flop my hand over my eyes in a very dramatic fashion Oh fifteen more minutes of darkness.


7:45
-CRASH-
I opened my eyes and look up. It's 7:45- HOLY FUCK- I'm late. Hop out of bed and think to my self simultaneously, "what in the world was that loud noise?"

Dad: "Catty are you up? Can you come help me?"

Me: "No, I'm not up. I'm naked. What do you need help with?"

Dad: "oh nothing. Just. the cake plate fell off the fridge again and well...it knocked over the cat food."

AH. that was the crash. I glance at the clock - 7:50- FUCK FUCK FUCK- "Be right there Dad!" Run to the bathroom grab the make-up to do in the car. Grab the bottle of water and toothbrush to brush in the car. Throw the hair up in a clip. Back to the bedroom. Trip on shoes. pick up shoes while putting on sundress. Throw shows down. Cram feet into them. Open door.

8:00

Dad: "George (my cat) got out. Do you know where the dust pan is?"

Me: "Yes, Daddy, it's in your right hand. I'm going to get George. You shouldn't have been trying to get my cookies that I made for work up there and the cat-food would still be in the bag."

Dad: "You should have left me one out and I wouldn't have reached for it, BUT since they are down now..I don't mind if I do. You know, for a snack later."

Me: "Gotta go find the cat. Get my purse and all those papers I printed last night and put them in the car I need to take them to the office."

Open door, place right foot out of door. See cat running towards me. No time to stop. Try to avoid cat. Fall flat on face. Get up. Go back in kitchen. Grab cat. Cat-toss into the cat approved quarters of the house. Get in car.

8:15
On the road to work. Riding in the passenger seat. Open bottle of water. Dip in toothbrush and get out toothpaste. Brush rinse, spit out window. Get beautiful. Listen to Dad yell at the people on the radio and then yell louder when, for some unknowable reason they fail to respond to him.

9:05

Get to work. Avoid evil eye from bossman. Sit and look. My whole department is empty. Apparently, we are havin system issues and no one can log into the system anyway. Great. I rushed for NOTHING.


12:30

Subway for lunch. Menial Chit-chat. Po-dunk Pittsburgh (a girl I work with) tells me all about her atrocious kid and how he is now on the current medication and how much better he is doing. I eat my turkey on wheat and think about how good my pool is going to feel when I get home.

2:30

Supervisor: "You came in late this morning."

Me: "yes, but really...you see..."

Supervisor: "Save it. I don't care if you are late, I don't care if you ever come to work on time or at all for that matter. Corporate does care though and SINCE they are in town this week do you think you could make an effort?"

Me: "Yes."

Supervisor: "Thanks. I appreciate it so much." ---I can practically see the sarcasm drip from his mouth.

4:30

Army mom: "I know you have been really busy lately, but since you are over the birthday stuff. I just thought I would let you know that you missed Veronica's* birthday from this weekend.

Me: "I was sick. I will get to it when I can. I am so backed up right now the birthday notification are taking a back burner. I will get to it by the end of this week."

Army mom: "Well, if it's too much you know I could always help. I am good with stuff like that and ever since Jacob* left......."

Me: nod I want a chinese for dinner tonight. A nice eggroll - some cheese wontons-

Army mom: "...anyway, his girlfriend is a total B-I-T-C-H. Too bad you aren't into guys or you could date him. Well, I will talk to you later bye!"

Too bad I'm not into guys? Great-army mom thinks I'm a lesbo. and since her bestfriend is gossipgirl that means half the office thinks I am too.

6:00

CLOCK OUT!

Supervisor (as I walk out the door): "Could you take a look at ...."

I do not know what else he said, I pretended I was listening to my Zune.


7:00

Home!

Couch!

Myspace, facebook, bank account (no chinese for me), you tube, cat constipation, smut smut smut.

8:00

Bill O'Reilly

9:00

Escaped canines! Go fix the gate to the best of mine and ToolMan "Goddamn it" Dad's ability with a screw driver, two pieces of plywood, 7 screws and a flashlight.

9:15

"Hot neighbor-boy with really ugly but nice girl friend" shows up and lends a hand. The gate is fixed by 9:30. He comes in we chat. I remember why we never dated. He is BORING. God awfully. Too bad...he is gorgeous.

9:45

Bye bye neighbor boy, feed cat, wash body.

10:45

Start blogging.


This is a look into my life today and believe it or not...this was a pretty mundane monday. If you stumble upon me please comment and let me know what you think. I have bloggin insecurities.